wannabit

i wanna be there.
i wanna share the pain.
wanna feel them too.
together.

i wanna go there.
to the place where misplaced is correct.
where eyes become some kind of cheap projectors.
where ears become one with brain,
with hands,
with feet,
with teeth,
with tongue.

i wanna live there.
i wanna stay there forever.
there i wont need to think of myself.
i wont need to think of my family.
i wont need to think of time.
i wont need to think of oxygen.

i wanna i so really fuckin wanna.

o mirror mirror

o mirror mirror on the fucking wall
why o why i am acting like me

o mirror mirror on the fucking wall
when o when will i be happy as i am

o mirror mirror on the fucking wall
who o who is gonna be there for me when the time comes

o mirror o fucking mirror on the fucking white wall
please cover me
let me see my fake reflection
o please

grow

today,
i realized one thing,
one very scary thing.

I realize,
that even though im not even 20 years old
even though im still clinging on my family income
even though im still looking for fun and friends
even though im still looking for who i am

I realize,
even though the sky never moves
even though the buildings stuck on the ground
even though my bed is still not moving
even though im still using boxers
even though i still smoke

I realize,
even though im still looking for some high times
even though im still looking for some attitude 911
even though im still wanting all the toys in the world
even though im still lost

I realize,
even though im here
even though im breathing
even though im alive
even though i know my friends are alive
even though i know that theyre gonna be just fine

I realize,
that i need to grow up.

fly

if only i know why
why am i making it harder
and heavier
and longer
and more painful
and even more disgusting to recall
if only i know

please just let me run
let me fly
let me soar to the sky
with wings
on my elbows
just pigeon's wings will do
i dont need to be those lame eagles
or those ridiculous vultures
just a pigeon
small brown dirty pigeon
with a happiness of a proud peacock
i will fly

its hard
being alive is very tiring
all those jealousies
and those fakeness
im just sick
sick of playing
i dont wanna die
but neither i want to live as someone else

i wanna fly
as a butterfly
blossoming along with the flowers
fresh and light
with those dew
and nectars on my palate
i just wanna be free