grow

today,
i realized one thing,
one very scary thing.

I realize,
that even though im not even 20 years old
even though im still clinging on my family income
even though im still looking for fun and friends
even though im still looking for who i am

I realize,
even though the sky never moves
even though the buildings stuck on the ground
even though my bed is still not moving
even though im still using boxers
even though i still smoke

I realize,
even though im still looking for some high times
even though im still looking for some attitude 911
even though im still wanting all the toys in the world
even though im still lost

I realize,
even though im here
even though im breathing
even though im alive
even though i know my friends are alive
even though i know that theyre gonna be just fine

I realize,
that i need to grow up.