i wish i can

if only they knew,
i'm tired of this spin,
i'm racing against the wind,
going ultra-fast against the piercing gale,
i'll run out of my skin if i keep doing that,
please notice it soon,
now,
don't you feel it too?
the slash of the winding glares,
the thrust of the loud mockery,
maybe you don't,
i don't know,
like you don't know about mine,
how can i tell you?
i wish i can, i wish i knew, i wish i can.
i thought it would be easy,
i thought my body and brain would adjust to it eventually,
i thought my eyes and nose would be drier by times,
drier, yeah, so dry, that i can feel every single hair inside my nostrils,
i feel like a skunk trying to feel good about my own smell,
acknowledging the fact,
i wish i can, i wish i knew,
i wish i can.
i want to tell you so badly,
i wonder what's gonna happen,
i'm afraid, afraid of a good things that will come to me if i tell you,
i know it won't be worse than now,
it can't be worse,
but i wish i can,
i know we will have a blast if i tell you,
we will probably run away,
across the country,
should be fun,
but why can't i tell you?
there's this huge wall that blocks my true intentions all this time,
what is it?
i want to break it, i want, i do, i don't maybe, i do? i don't
i don't feel like the wall is that thick, i know i can just tear it,
why can't i?
i wish i knew, i wish i can,
please just tear it for me,
break it and let me tell you the thing,
right in front of your face,
please just realize it,
now.